


Forgery of a Vermeer

by hurinhouse



Category: White Collar
Genre: Humor, Multi, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurinhouse/pseuds/hurinhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paying attention in budget meetings isn't easy when Peter is involved with two troublemakers</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgery of a Vermeer

**Author's Note:**

> for Elrhiarhodan's [Promptfest IX](http://elrhiarhodan.livejournal.com/516179.html#comments) for the prompt: Neal - selfie

_Hey, Peter._

_Hey. What? Everything okay?_

_Course. Got El's garden completely planted._

_I believe it. But, remember I'm busy today. Can't chat/text._

_Riiight. K, but it's Sunday. U know what that means._

_No. Neal, I'm in meetings all day with the brass. NO sexting._

_S'ok Peter. I'll just send one dirty pic._

_No! Neal, I'm turning my phone off._

 

Of course, he's not. He can't. But he can't look at anything Neal sends. He turns the volume off but he keeps waiting during the meeting. Waiting for his phone to vibrate. Waiting, while trying to pay attention, especially since he'll need to get up and speak soon. Waiting for the-

 

Okay, and there it is, text received. Fine, now he can relax. And pay attention. 

 

Maybe if he just looks at it quickly, gets it over with, he can pay attention. He'd watched Neal's stealthy beneath-the-table texting before; he can do this. Roll the chair in reverse just a bit at a time. Lean back, slouch a little, hands down on the lap. No one sees him pull the phone from his pocket. He thumbs it on, scrolls to Neal's text which reads...

 

_Promised dirt_

and... 

 

There it is. A dirty picture. Literally. It's a classic Neal and Elizabeth selfie, standing in her garden this time, both streaked with various smears of dirt and sweat. Fully clothed and completely innocent. Sure they're both hot but, nothing to induce Peter Junior to take a stand. He rewards their kindness with a return text.

 

_Whew. I can handle that kind of dirty._

 

Now he can relax. He listens to every presentation, actually pays attention and has several points to contribute. He almost doesn't notice his phone vibrate again as he's laughing at a joke Bancroft made. He casually thumbs it back on, leaning back in his seat. One more from Neal. He checks the time on his clock. It's been an hour since the last text. This one reads...

 

_El's learning how to paint._

 

Huh. He didn't know she was interested. Neal's got to be a great teacher. He opens it.

 

And he's going to kill them. It's definitely a painting. El's created a masterpiece - her own rendition of Girl with a Pearl Earring. Looks like the eyes / nose / mouth are done in marker on the head, cartoon style. The collar and turbin look to be made of tiny strips of toilet paper, falling artfully down the back. And the head and body? Neal's rock-hard cock, complete with a pearly bead peeking out the slit. 

 

Peter Junior sits up front and center.

 

"Peter, why don't you come on up and give us that budget report now."


End file.
